I Bought a Motorbike... and I Didn't Do My Research

@&#$ this fake Honda Wave. Looks fun and zippy. Is actually murdercycle.

A genuine Honda Wave is a great motorbike for a lot of reasons. They're cheap to fill up, cheap to repair, last basically forever (with proper care, of course), and are generally pretty good bikes for zipping around on any kind of trip, near or far.

So it's entirely on me when I say that the Honda knock-off I bought has been pretty much a total *$&%ing disaster. It was my own, personal, eternal teachable moment, every day, forever (it seemed) for 7 months. Truly, the gift that kept on giving! It was only when I moved houses and got rid of that disaster deathbike did my daily nightmare end.

First it was the brakes.

Then it was the gears.

Then the turn signals. Then the front lights. Then all the lights. Then the fuel hose. Then an oil leak. Then the engine. Then the ignition.

I thought I could learn to fix it. Mechanics laughed in my face. True story. I am much more shy around mechanics now. For some reason they are as intimidating as barbers and doctors for me (a lot).

Murderscoot Jr. continued to totally suck in new, ever-more impressive ways. I looked forward to learning some new horrible thing about it every time I got on... it was a major stressor in life for me, tbh.

The symptoms were clear: I had bought myself a lemon!

Tipping in Vietnam: A Focus on Service

Bottom line: do they light up your soul? Tip time.

My thoughts on tipping Vietnamese have evolved over the time that I've spent in this country.

At first, I followed the standard model of tipping I'd heard of from other expats: spas and barbers get a tip and everyone else can suck it, because who wants to upset the apple cart? Which, honestly, is kind of an jackass perspective, as virtually everything I'm paying for in a service setting is drastically cheaper than comparable experiences in developed countries.

Slowly, I've evolved to be more of a tipper (as I was in America, which I'm proud of)

Vietnam's epic and ambitious plans for achieving Developed Nation status are well-known and well-underway at this point and, perhaps surprisingly, there IS a minimum wage for Vietnamese.  However, this minimum wage applies to the entire country, which is still pretty darn agricultural and poor, relatively speaking. City wages might be at the federal minimum, but the costs of living in one of these major metropolitan areas (Hanoi, HCMC, Da Nang) is much higher than if you live out in the provinces, where a lower minimum wage might be enough. Young people come here to try and find themselves and new opportunities, and they can't succeed if they're earning subsistence levels of income. Everyone deserves to have enough cash to enjoy a smoothie with friends on Friday night, right? Let alone attending one of Saigon's many universities....

Getting good service is the standard in the south of Vietnam. And, generally, Southern Vietnamese are quite helpful and friendly (I have... other thoughts... about the few Hanoi residents I've met). If you encounter a situation where you have messy or outright terrible service, I trust you'll recognize that and tip accordingly (0.00 USD).

So what's the best way to approach service situations?

New Year's Resolutions 2015: Foundational and Incremental

Well hello again! What's that you say - February already??  Man, I guess I'd better put all those vaguely anxious feelings and thoughts into a brand spankin' new set of New Year's Resolutions!

In America it is traditional to make promises to yourself on the occasion of the New Year. To me, this symbolizes the endless, circular nature of time, encouraging us to renew our commitments to ourselves and our world as we celebrate another year of not being drowned, electrocuted (well, not to death, at any rate), crushed, stabbed, dismembered, or plowed down by a bus.

(If, perchance, you find yourself in one of the aforementioned situations, my condolences. I hope you're reading this post in a hospital somewhere.)

Where I come from, resolutions can also act as a mental defense against the soul-ravaging bleakness of January and February, giving us some kind of vision or goal to strive for and negating, as much as possible, how truly shitty those months are (especially in those northern states, it's just gawdawful. Stay strong, friends).

And so, keeping in mind the massive scale of the goals I have for my future (however far that might be) here I am once again. The goal this year is to take small, constant steps toward a future I create for myself without letting myself lie fallow. My dreams are much to big to take in one year, or even two. But five years? That suddenly sounds sorta, kinda doable!

Resolution Check-in: 2014 Post-Mortem

The hour is almost here (on my side of the globe, at least): 2014 is slowly making way for the new calendar year. 2015, you ready?

But first, let's cut 2014 up into gloopy pieces and see what it was made of for me. What made it go? What brought it to a halt? What helped, and what hindered. And, most importantly, where am I going next?

Back in January 2014, I made a list of 8 resolutions, plus some Lesser Goals, for the year.

So... how did I do?

I should say that I've never before followed-up my resolutions like this. I've really enjoyed the time spent mulling over and reflecting on what I did and didn't do to make these goals come to life as I sit down to write - there's often a deadline on traveling, which makes it nice for setting practical goals and provides a good incentive to follow through, or at least thinking of following through - there's sometimes no 'next year' to restart and re-evaluate your chosen goals. Do it now, while the doin's good!

In thinking about my goals for 2015, I wanted to quickly review what I accomplished, and didn't, in 2014... and in my creative life! Some of it worked... some of it didn't. Entire projects fell to flooding, rust, and sun, and it was a helluva time finding and using new materials (including bamboo!) All of it was sweaty, dirty fun, and most of it didn't give me minor electrical shocks! But hey, that's how I roll.

Let's see, shall we?

Gifts, Goodbyes, and Grub: Expenses Dec 16-22

Let me preface... it really can be cheap to live here, I promise you!

This week saw a lot of activity (besides me losing my voice). Multiple friends left Vietnam (hence, parties and meals!), I got a whole hell of a lot of house stuff accomplished, got more Christmas presents (still have to ship them, of course...), and had social engagements almost every night. 'Tis the Season! I addition to that gaping money wound, I also chose this week to present a donation to the English program at one of my schools and give a holiday tip to the maid. So much money... money hemorrhaging everywhere. Things to think about when I get to budgeting!

Click on for the details - even without rent this week, I spent a solid stack of real (USD!) bills.

Shopping and Rent: Expenses December 9-15

I made a number of financial decisions this week, and I spent an absolutely insane amount of money.

For one thing, I decided to pay ahead on my rent (~$150) in order to prepare for my Cambodia trip next month - slowly getting used to the paid-once-a-month model.

I also bought a lot of things for our house! I got an amazing set of tables and chairs for the terrace, and it looks awesome - I think the porch is finally done. It's so peaceful and nice out there!

I just finished a picture frame project for the 5th floor, and I bought some christmas lights and decorations - I couldn't help myself! I also bought some things for the BBQ grill and got a bucket to make watering the plants easier (now that it's the dry season, especially important). Lots of house stuff.

I also have some friends coming in late December, so that entailed new pillows, sheets, and an air mattress for them.

Click through for the gory details of my money-drenched week...

4/5ths Of It Food: Expenses Dec 2-8

The first step to taming your spending is knowing where your money is going - and, three weeks in, I'm finally developing a picture.

Most of my money is going to food. This is fairly unsurprising - I mean, I really like food, and I'm in one of the food capitals of the world. There is literally food everywhere. Go half a block and you'll meet at least one street food vendor.

I should note that for this spending/tracking experiment, I'm just spending money like I normally would here. It's probably true that I curtail it a little bit (you can't observe something without changing it!) since I'm keeping such close tabs on it, but for the most part I'm letting myself run willy nilly.

Because my long-term money goals are ambitious (for me, at least), my next step after collecting data will be to create a budget that allows me to have fun and live a comfortable (delicious) life while also saving substantial portions of my income (hopefully in a way that lets me remit it to the US). Look for my first budget experiment in January 2014!

But for this week... my god, 83.3% of my weekly expenditures on food?!:

The Cost of Smartphones in Vietnam

This is $10 of minutes that I purchased at
my local convenience store.

"How much does your phone cost?"

and

"How do you use a phone there?"

These are fairly common questions I get, and I think it's worth a response simply because the system here is so unlike the system we have at home in the US - it took a bit of a learning curve (and I still have questions!) to familiarize myself.

RECAP: So basically, in America, you don't have to bear the entire cost of a new smartphone because they are subsidized by the carriers. In return, you're limited to their network and most likely locked into a long, expensive, two-year contact, paying anywhere from $50-100 - or more - to provide that phone with service and whatever internet packet you've signed up for.

The system in much of the rest of the world is different. I recently bought a secondhand smartphone (my very first capable smartphone!!) and, having lived the dream for a couple months, want to tell you all about it.

Read on for numbers and money, and to learn how much your phone plan sucks!

More Gas, Please: Expenses Nov 25 - Dec 1

My second week of formally tracking every single "cent" I spend is off to a good start, and I'm starting to notice things that I had no idea were happening. I love budgets.

I've had good money news this week - I get paid once a month (CRAZY, I KNOW) and I've learned that my probation period at work is over. I'll notice several changes:

1. Taxes reduced from 20% to 10%
2. A fixed salary every month, no matter what
3. A higher salary

THESE ARE GREAT THINGS!! Hopefully this will allow me to start putting much more away, now that my big ticket items are purchased (phone, bike). I'm looking forward to seeing much more money remitted to the US in these little posts in the upcoming months!

Things I've learned this week:

Rediscovering Budgets: Expenses November 18-24

For many years I had a pretty good budget system in the United States, but, unfortunately, it all fell apart when I moved to Vietnam. One major difference in day to day life here is that not many places accept debit/credit cards, which was how I tracked my old expenses. Vietnam is really, really into getting cash for goods and services.

Here's my first attempt at getting back on track: keeping tabs on my spending and rediscovering my inner fiscally-responsible self (however deep he's buried in street food!).

Once I started voicing my frustrations, it seemed like everyone around me had an idea on the best way to proceed. I was clearly not alone.

Ho Chi Minh City's Fascinating District 7

Rae recently took me out for my birthday and we had a fantastic time. I visited a section of the city that I've never been to before and was wanting to know more about, because it's substantially different than the rest of the city: District 7. (Pardon the lack of photos for this post - because it was after dark, my camera wasn't taking anything worth posting - mostly just blurry light splotches on a sheet of pitch black.)

We went to Scott & Binh's, the number 2 rated restaurant in HCMC, where I was in an almost all-English environment for the first time since coming to Vietnam. It was weird! To celebrate, I got myself a fish and pasta pesto dish, which was fantastic. We toasted to the Fourth of July with Tiger beer and mango margaritas, and our dinner on the patio, surrounded by bamboo and christmas lights, resulted in a very relaxing meal. Afterward we went walking and she pointed out her international school and her yoga studio. We picked up a final late night coffee on our way back to the beginning.

Vietnam and the Cost of Living

Some of you have asked me about personal costs and money living in Ho Chi Minh City. Here's a little more info for you, with some personal experience details. All denominations are in USD for the sake of easy comparison to you followers back home. The column on the left is always Chicago.

Note: All statistics come from numbeo.com (I don't know how well-reputed this site is, but the figures given largely fit with what I've seen, so I'm going to run with them and just post commentary) along with supporting anecdotal information from the sources listed at the bottom, combined with my personal experiences.

XE ÔM RIDE!!

Yesterday I got some video of what it's like to be on the back of a motorbike going through Saigon at 7am. I've been trying to get a good trip video for a week now and finally realized this is about as good as I'm going to get.

The driver in the video (not the one in the picture on the left) is my regular guy - he camps out where my side-alley exits into the main street - and he is a little faster than some of the other xe om taxis that I've taken. Not the fastest on the road by any means... some people with their own bikes really zoom. But he doesn't limp along like some of these weaker bikes I've been on. I like that. He also doesn't go the wrong way down one-way streets, which I ALSO like. He's a good driver.

Check out the video after the jump...

The Wedding: Choose Your Own After-party Adventure

New buildings and Old buildings in
downtown Ho Chi Minh City.

(Note: I've included some pictures from the 5th floor of the hotel - they didn't really fit anywhere else.)

Following the confusion regarding the state of the party (namely, was it still a party? Had it ever really been a party, or had it really been dinner all along?), my new friend Malte and I descended to the elevator, debating what to do next. The absurdity of the situation was such that we had a hard time believing that we were leaving a wedding before 2am!

On one hand, it was 9:30pm, we were dressed up, and we weren't far from the late-night bacchanalia parade that is known as Bui Vien. On the other hand… actually the only other question that came up turned out to be that age old quandary: walk it or taxi?

The Wedding: Food, Conversation, and Bia in the Evening Heat

There were many sauces available, but no one seemed to season their dishes in any way... so we followed suit.

HOTEL MAJESTIC
Saigon - Vietnam
Est. 1925

The hotel's logo, embossed in gold, is on the small, pink giftbox at every seat. A waiter is coming around moving it off to one side, then taking the napkin, unfolding it, and placing it in each person's lap for them. I adjust mine a little bit and wonder what dinner will bring.

I've been prepared for a large dinner all day - even my 5 o'clock ice cream reward was adorably portioned! But even then, I didn't really quite know what to expect. All I knew was the traditional number of courses: Eight.

My new English-speaking, same-hotel-living (all this is still frying my brain at this point) friend, Malte, and I are escorted to what we eventually determine is some kind of 'international' table. We made small talk with the people at our table - there were many English speakers, and (perhaps?) two Japanese speakers. It boded well for our meal.

First World Problems

One of several escalator tanks of fish in the mall.

What better way to celebrate the Fourth of July than by telling you about my foray to the "Western" Mall? It's the First World in Vietnam! Which is pretty damning, when you consider that it's the place that I think is most like America that I've been to yet, and yeeesh... malls.

I mean, don't get me wrong. It's a very nice mall (Crescent Mall, D7). It's expensive, and it's got a movie theatre, which I haven't tried yet. It's attached to a great lake (man-made, of course) and features a spectacular bridge across the river to the beautiful park on the opposite side.

The Wedding: Culture, Confetti, and an Awesome Surprise

The Bride and Groom's Official Portrait. Aren't they gorgeous together?
Essential Recap: The Groom is my hotel owner's son.

Fresh flowers everywhere!
Stargazer lilies, I think?

5:30pm Friday came and found me finishing off my celebratory ice cream post-Demo Lesson.

I had came directly from the school, clothes, invite, wedding card and all. My hosts had impressed upon me several times that I was to show up about 6:30, even though there were several times (from 5:30-7) indicated on the invitation. I figured that with the extra time I would stroll down (it's about 2 miles), getting me there just in time to use the bathroom to clean up and change and head up to the dinner.

After two blocks I was so tired from the Demo that I gave up, got on a xe om to go the rest of the way. I carried my nice shirt, a fresh headband, fresh undershirt, and class materials in my messenger bag. My purple tie fluttered behind me from my neck as we got going, drying a little after getting sweaty in the afternoon heat.

I consequently arrived at the hotel much earlier than I had planned when I left that morning. The place is FANCY, yo! Just the Lobby is utterly, mind-blowingly beautiful - I had no idea what to expect from the rest of the night...

The Wedding: The Invite and the Traditional Gift

I feel I'll be getting a fair amount of confusion
about my "three" first names.

[Note: I'll be splitting this experience up into a four part series (see the links at the bottom of the page after they've been posted). It was my first truly epic night in town!]

It was odd to me, to say the least. I'd only been staying at my hotel for 20 days when, in the middle of the afternoon, my host knocked on the door. He had brought me two things: my clothes (they do the laundry here) and an invitation to their son's wedding.

At first, I thought I must have misunderstood. I did not. They were actually inviting me to the swankiest place in Saigon in honor of their son, who I'd shaken hands with once and exchanged a few words with a couple days before.

I was honored, to say the least! Bit puzzled, but I was going to roll with it.

Essential Ho Chi Minh City Travel Tips, Part 1

There are just some things that are so small you don't think about the fact that they might be done differently in another culture. I'm not talking about driving on the other side of the road - even simpler than that... these are some that I've learned through trial and error!

Learn from my mistakes, and enjoy!

Meet the Shoeshine Boy

Yesterday, THIS GUY happened to me:

Normally I would have asked permission to take his
picture, but he was a total jackass. So I didn't.

This, my friends, is a shoeshine boy. Except in HCMC, they're more like Tourist Sandal Predators. I was walking along, minding my own business, when he ran up to me, knelt in front of me at a crosswalk and started supergluing my sandals. I was beyond surprised. I had no frame of reference. I shook him off, threw him 10,000 VND (about .50 USD) after he protested and got on my way.

But, oh no, this was not the end of this stupid drama. Not on this day when I've already had the most annoying day I've had since I got here. Of course not.