I Bought a Motorbike... and I Didn't Do My Research

@&#$ this fake Honda Wave. Looks fun and zippy. Is actually murdercycle.

A genuine Honda Wave is a great motorbike for a lot of reasons. They're cheap to fill up, cheap to repair, last basically forever (with proper care, of course), and are generally pretty good bikes for zipping around on any kind of trip, near or far.

So it's entirely on me when I say that the Honda knock-off I bought has been pretty much a total *$&%ing disaster. It was my own, personal, eternal teachable moment, every day, forever (it seemed) for 7 months. Truly, the gift that kept on giving! It was only when I moved houses and got rid of that disaster deathbike did my daily nightmare end.

First it was the brakes.

Then it was the gears.

Then the turn signals. Then the front lights. Then all the lights. Then the fuel hose. Then an oil leak. Then the engine. Then the ignition.

I thought I could learn to fix it. Mechanics laughed in my face. True story. I am much more shy around mechanics now. For some reason they are as intimidating as barbers and doctors for me (a lot).

Murderscoot Jr. continued to totally suck in new, ever-more impressive ways. I looked forward to learning some new horrible thing about it every time I got on... it was a major stressor in life for me, tbh.

The symptoms were clear: I had bought myself a lemon!

I am Tobias way too often.

In hindsight, my rush to try something new, in the belief that it couldn't be worse that what I had (a 15 year old Yamaha Nouvo), turned out to be pretty much the opposite of rational. I was so fixated on the idea of the new bike and my commute to my new job, that I didn't take the time to properly vet my purchase. I assumed that other people were dealing in good faith - a mistake I seem to make again and again in life, hrm.

However, I was determined to make the most of this. I've wanted to master fixing a basic motorbike, and the Honda Wave 110cc is about as basic as it gets. Indeed, one of my New Year's Resolutions from this year was to learn how to repair one! I failed.

Instead, let me teach you what I SHOULD have looked for, realized, and done...

1. ...My bike was from China. I bought a fake.

How do I know? Aside from the fact that it dropped pieces at an alarming rate and was basically made from low-grade aluminum?... let me present this video from the guy behind Tigit Motorbikes (a local bike rental place):

With all these shoddy parts just waiting to fall apart on me, this would NOT be a good choice for road trips (or even ideal for my 13km one-way commute, honestly).

2. It's... missing pieces?

Which just goes to show you that I really had no idea what I was doing when I bought this. Check out a manufacturer's picture of the bike you want to buy and compare closely to what you see when you go inspect the bike. Take a knowledgable friend, if you can.

I had to replace the entire ignition (~13 USD) en route one time, and that's only one example.

Always check the registration paper against the engine block number. Check the names (i.e. HONDA or YAMAHA) on the papers and the engine.

Funny side story: one time I was driving and some guy swerved into me to avoid
a coconut selling woman and as a result I hit a block of random concrete
intended for a future light post that knocked the foot gear shift back, trapping me in fourth
gear all the way to the factory, 10km away, where I had to find a
hammer (SURPRISINGLY difficult to find in a factory!) and literally whack it back into place.
The End

3. Take it to a TRUSTED bike shop, before you buy...

I went to the bike repair guy I've been visiting for three years. I (thought I) asked him to do a complete overview of it (he speaks some English and French), and I went to coffee for a few hours. I came back to find only one brake pad had been changed. I decided to buy based on this - I trusted him! - and things went downhill from there.

In this situation, my English didn't work as expected, and my Vietnamese was useless. Clearly, there was a lot with the bike that was in bad shape. Three months later and I got stranded with no ignition. Not a great investment, in hind sight!

I don't go to that mechanic any more, btw.

If possible go to a mechanic that can speak fluent <your language>. Explain your desire to check the bike before you buy. Ask them to review hoses, gear shifts, dials, lights, horn, turn signals, brakes, tires, oil, and the idle (it should have a high idle for the dense HCMC traffic).

Ask the mechanic for a price estimate for the bike as is, and for additional repairs.

4. Where to buy/rent?

• Ask around! There's a very active interpersonal trade market lying just below the surface of society here. Chances are some of the Vietnamese you run into every day know a guy who knows a guy... don't be afraid to ask! Just tell them what you want (automatic/semi and price) and that's usually enough to get the ball rolling. You will probably have to follow up.

• If you've got a Vietnamese person/some language that can help you on the internet, go to Muaban.net and navigate to the section for bikes for sale. You can search by manufacturer and model. It's a curated marketplace, so people are generally on the up-and-up. You and your friend can reply and set up a meeting time at a convenient mechanic.

• If some local is willing to do you a bigger favor, ask them to come with you to see any bikes you find (whether it's on Craigslist, muaban.net, or whatever). People have enough life experience to generally look at a motorbike and say yay or nay. (obviously not me, tho)

• If you're on your own, and you need a bike for only a few months, consider renting instead. The total cost will likely be below what you'd spend on bike, plus you usually get some emergency services in your rental contract. If you have problems, you'll get help soon, including bike replacements. I recommend Chi's Cafe in Bui Vien. They have great English and reasonable prices (~50USD/month).

NEW VERY NICE RENTAL BIKE. MUCH HAPPY!

So, after all this, I've got a new bike rental. It's pretty great! Screw that old piece of junk, amirite?

Questions? Comments? Jibes about how gullible and trusting I can be? Go ahead, make my day...!