He's Come Undone (33rd-Year Edition)

I can't articulate WHY... but this speaks to me.

Real talk.

For a while in 2016, it indeed looked like I'd come undone. A better metaphor is that it was like being unmoored and lost at sea.

Unmooring a vessel means to lift up the anchor and release ties to the dock, releasing it to the weather, the sea, and the skill of the crew. It's always the start of any journey, and no ship leaves dock without a destination. I unmoored myself from Chicago when I left to travel abroad. The thing about journeys is that, when you have a stated end goal, your journey will end in either success or failure.

In other words, becoming unmoored is the first step to achieving your dreams. However, being unmoored is also the first step in getting truly lost.

This year, I ran into some headwinds at sea.

I had a series of jobs that I didn't like. I felt like my real talents were going to waste, but wasn't always able to articulate those talents in a way that made sense, to myself or employers. I attempted to start a few businesses, and was marginally successful in one of them. I got a job I loved, and then got fired from when I demanded a contract (oof, disheartening - she operated in America, FYI). I followed a lot of irrational hope, in hindsight.

In the meantime, all my internal plans were in disarray.

Resolution Check-in: 2014 Post-Mortem

The hour is almost here (on my side of the globe, at least): 2014 is slowly making way for the new calendar year. 2015, you ready?

But first, let's cut 2014 up into gloopy pieces and see what it was made of for me. What made it go? What brought it to a halt? What helped, and what hindered. And, most importantly, where am I going next?

Back in January 2014, I made a list of 8 resolutions, plus some Lesser Goals, for the year.

So... how did I do?

I should say that I've never before followed-up my resolutions like this. I've really enjoyed the time spent mulling over and reflecting on what I did and didn't do to make these goals come to life as I sit down to write - there's often a deadline on traveling, which makes it nice for setting practical goals and provides a good incentive to follow through, or at least thinking of following through - there's sometimes no 'next year' to restart and re-evaluate your chosen goals. Do it now, while the doin's good!

In thinking about my goals for 2015, I wanted to quickly review what I accomplished, and didn't, in 2014... and in my creative life! Some of it worked... some of it didn't. Entire projects fell to flooding, rust, and sun, and it was a helluva time finding and using new materials (including bamboo!) All of it was sweaty, dirty fun, and most of it didn't give me minor electrical shocks! But hey, that's how I roll.

Let's see, shall we?

Resolution Check-in: Mistakes and How to Make Them

Wow, well in retrospect, I probably never needed to put this on my resolution list again. Because I'm SUPER, SUPER GOOD at making mistakes!

Here's the text of my resolution:

5. Make more mistakes... and learn from them 

The time for trepidation is over. I've got to be bold and confident. This extends past learning and communicating in the language, but it's a good place to start. I'm a fairly strong introvert, but being here has exercised my extrovert skills. Every day presents me with magical, unique opportunities and I'm here to say Yes to them, even if I'd rather putter around with my plants or write some postcards by myself. I will go new places and make new mistakes there.

Now, let's be clear... I was not talking about the same KIND of mistakes. I've learned that variety is the spice of life, and that - deities help me - extends to mistakes of all kinds, stripes, colors, and pearly, iridescent hues.

Also, double clear... my stipulation was that I had to LEARN FROM THEM. I guess that's what (spoilers?) I'm still working on. To be fair, though, I assume that'll be a rather permanent resolution for the rest of my life.

Oh, ok. So there's where we start to go off the rails. But it's good to have a jumping off point, even if that point goes right over a shark into a boiling vat of turkey gravy.