He's Come Undone (33rd-Year Edition)

I can't articulate WHY... but this speaks to me.

Real talk.

For a while in 2016, it indeed looked like I'd come undone. A better metaphor is that it was like being unmoored and lost at sea.

Unmooring a vessel means to lift up the anchor and release ties to the dock, releasing it to the weather, the sea, and the skill of the crew. It's always the start of any journey, and no ship leaves dock without a destination. I unmoored myself from Chicago when I left to travel abroad. The thing about journeys is that, when you have a stated end goal, your journey will end in either success or failure.

In other words, becoming unmoored is the first step to achieving your dreams. However, being unmoored is also the first step in getting truly lost.

This year, I ran into some headwinds at sea.

I had a series of jobs that I didn't like. I felt like my real talents were going to waste, but wasn't always able to articulate those talents in a way that made sense, to myself or employers. I attempted to start a few businesses, and was marginally successful in one of them. I got a job I loved, and then got fired from when I demanded a contract (oof, disheartening - she operated in America, FYI). I followed a lot of irrational hope, in hindsight.

In the meantime, all my internal plans were in disarray.

Remember to Water Your Dreams!

Greener days, from early 2014. Pre-ShadeUmbrella, Pre-theGardenHasTakenOverTheTerrace era. HI AITO!!

I keep learning a fundamentally valuable lesson here in Vietnam, over and over:

If you don't pay attention to something, it runs the risk of dying.

I've seen it illustrated vividly, time and again, as I cycle from over-care to under-care in the upkeep of our rooftop terrace garden. I'm actually a little embarrassed that I have to be reminded of this lesson so frequently! But every so often life seems to get in the way, and focus gets shifted. The result is that plants will wither and fade, and sometimes die.

Plants and nature are a principle joy in my life - I love getting my hands dirty. For as long as I've had my own place, I've had plants. And, like many plant owners, I've killed a ton of flora in my time. Through a lack of observation, ineptitude, and downright neglect, I've crushed many organisms whose very existence is a tonic for my mind... and yet, reflexively, I still revive the ones I can, toss the ones I've killed, and start fresh.

Vietnam is a casual gardener's dream. It's actually very easy to grow things here with a minimum of effort - all that is truly needed is a pot and some soil... and water, every day. Maybe not much water (most love the excess, though, being tropical two-season plants), but the trick is that it has to be a habit.

The very act of attention becomes nourishing.

The same is true with the ambitions and dreams we hold closest to our chests.

New Year's Resolutions 2015: Foundational and Incremental

Well hello again! What's that you say - February already??  Man, I guess I'd better put all those vaguely anxious feelings and thoughts into a brand spankin' new set of New Year's Resolutions!

In America it is traditional to make promises to yourself on the occasion of the New Year. To me, this symbolizes the endless, circular nature of time, encouraging us to renew our commitments to ourselves and our world as we celebrate another year of not being drowned, electrocuted (well, not to death, at any rate), crushed, stabbed, dismembered, or plowed down by a bus.

(If, perchance, you find yourself in one of the aforementioned situations, my condolences. I hope you're reading this post in a hospital somewhere.)

Where I come from, resolutions can also act as a mental defense against the soul-ravaging bleakness of January and February, giving us some kind of vision or goal to strive for and negating, as much as possible, how truly shitty those months are (especially in those northern states, it's just gawdawful. Stay strong, friends).

And so, keeping in mind the massive scale of the goals I have for my future (however far that might be) here I am once again. The goal this year is to take small, constant steps toward a future I create for myself without letting myself lie fallow. My dreams are much to big to take in one year, or even two. But five years? That suddenly sounds sorta, kinda doable!

Finding Medicines While in Vietnam

The pharmacy next to the Baby Factory near my house.

Virtually anyone traveling abroad will face some kind of medical issue during their travels.

Whether you contract dengue fever, malaria, traveler's diarrhea, or just are dealing with a nasty hangover from too much bia hoi (fresh-made beer), eventually you're going to have to get something to help you recover. But finding what you need when you are in pain and not at your mental peak is a daunting prospect.

I've been fortunate enough to only have a few medical issues, and most times I can get what I want, when I need it... now. A year ago? Maybe not so much. I take a few daily medications, and, as I've documented in my post of medieval bodily horrors, suffer the occasional gout attack. Then there are all those times I went in unprepared, sick or in pain, and left with a product that didn't help at all (when I was able to get anything at all).

Mui Ne: Resort Life at The Cliff

In early July I went with a group of Vietnamese to a bona fide RESORT. I've never been to such a classy, blatantly rich-people destination before. Goodness!

We stayed at The Cliff Resort near Mui Ne. It really had it all. Great food, great service, clean rooms, amazing acrylic artwork in the rooms, and a private beach. This was the off season, so there weren't a million billion people here on their holidays, which was so pleasant.

I don't have much to say about this place, except that it was absurdly relaxing. This was the same trip as our stop at the waterfalls in Dong Nai. Click through for some pictures of my stay, and see why it's basically always the best time to visit Mui Ne... but that early July is exceptional.

Resolution Check-in: Self-Maintenance

 Hey no, neighbor! Let's see how I'm doing on that massive New Year's Resolution list, eh?

1. Maintain myself like a real person 

Seriously, a real person. That means not being scared of the barber, no more fried spring rolls for dinner, and you know what? I've got to get running again. The air here is hazy and polluted, but I just miss the run too much. It's time to tighten up my personal time schedule and re-commit to becoming a healthier, more presentable person in 2014. And note to self... buy some real dress shoes, mmkay? These moccasins are not acceptable for professionals.

It may not look like I'm following through based on the photo at left, but I promise you, things are progressing! The whole list sounds intense, and I've set some big goals for myself, but I've made some progress on this front (and, indeed, on so many of my resolutions!). I'll use this type of column to help document my progress on each of these goals, or to help myself understand why I've changed them from January and set new ones.

Click through to see how I got so colorful!

Nurture Trumps Nature

Look at those big brown eyes... and the skin
sores all over his neck. Awwww.

As I'm writing this, I'm desperately trying to make a mental list of all the good things about fostering a rescue kitten, but really all I want to do is kick him out of my room so I can go back to being a writer for half an hour and not a human climbing tree where he jumps from clingable surface to clingable surface, pretending he's a tiger or a gecko, or whatever goes on in his brain.

Humph. Well. I guess it comes with the territory.

One month ago I finally gave up my search for a snake to foster adopt (you'd think that would be easy here!), and began inquiring about kittens. In District 2 there is a veterinary hospital and animal rescue that I'd been in contact with and they had a little mangy cat come in that needed some special TLC. I told them I'd come in on Friday and we'd go from there.

Ho Chi Mix City: July 2013 & Mix Tape Creation

July has been a great transition month for me as I get used to my new house/city/country/culture, new neighborhood, my lessons, and anticipate moving into my job teaching English in the public schools in the coming weeks. A lot of my time has spent walking, exploring, and thinking. In the US I'd be listening to my iPod almost constantly - here? Nope.

Surprisingly, there was not a lot of music in my life in June, and since I've gotten out of the habit of making these for myself (instead preferring to spend my time making them for friends in recent years) I thought I'd kill a few birds with one stone and musically document my months here, treating myself to some musical therapy and sharing them with YOU.

This week I've been working on a mix that describes my Transition-y, Explore-y July. It's a work in progress, but I'd like to share it with you today. I put it on youtube just for you:

The Worst Way to Connect with Western Culture

That's right, I reviewed HP INK and BUBBLE WRAP.
It's time to re-evaluate my recent life decisions.

This was my project this morning. It just occurred to me how stupid it was. Dumb homesickness.

It is not the first completely pointless project I've undertaken on days when I don't feel like leaving my room and confronting the alien culture outside my door, but it's by far the one that screams "GET OUTSIDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU NEED VITAMIN D AND FRESH WATER, STUPID" the loudest.

What AM I doing, you ask? I'm reviewing and rating all my past purchases on Amazon.com. If that's not a completely pointless activity, I don't know what is. Maybe something like waterproofing desert hiking gear, or trying to improve the cheeseburger. Pointless. Time-passing. Life-wasting.

What other pointless things have I done to stay inside the English Bubble? Oh, let's see...

ScienceNews: Vietnam Develops Invisible Forcefield, Flabby Foreigner Flummoxed

It's true, my friends. It was shocking how effective it was.

Let me tell you the embarrassing tale.

This was my goal: The front door to the big outside world.
Or rather, the door that leads to the alley that leads to the
big outside world.

After getting up early (about 3am) I was feeling pretty good. I'd had a good excursion Saturday, and added a number of things to my todo list that I felt were important. I felt confident in my first experiences with street vendors and xe om (motorbike taxis - so damn pushy!) and gotten a lot of water for my hotel room.

I got up and got ready for the day, showering in my crazy shower-room, and even whistled a little bit (I haven't been singing much since I got here... weird). I dressed, looked in the mirror, told my reflection how nice he looked (he needs some encouragement sometimes) and popped open the todo list. My first 20 minutes was spent reorganizing and prioritizing, followed by a quick 'n dirty flurry of internet activity that took 5 or 6 things off that list. It felt good. I felt good. It was time to go foraging for food and more water. Maybe I could find some more banh mi!

(Aside: Because most meals are cooked from fresh ingredients on the spot, I'm assuming this hunter-gatherer behavior will continue for awhile, until I can find an American grocery store that sells frozen burritos, ha ha. Protip: unattainable fantasy alert.)