I Bought a Motorbike... and I Didn't Do My Research

@&#$ this fake Honda Wave. Looks fun and zippy. Is actually murdercycle.

A genuine Honda Wave is a great motorbike for a lot of reasons. They're cheap to fill up, cheap to repair, last basically forever (with proper care, of course), and are generally pretty good bikes for zipping around on any kind of trip, near or far.

So it's entirely on me when I say that the Honda knock-off I bought has been pretty much a total *$&%ing disaster. It was my own, personal, eternal teachable moment, every day, forever (it seemed) for 7 months. Truly, the gift that kept on giving! It was only when I moved houses and got rid of that disaster deathbike did my daily nightmare end.

First it was the brakes.

Then it was the gears.

Then the turn signals. Then the front lights. Then all the lights. Then the fuel hose. Then an oil leak. Then the engine. Then the ignition.

I thought I could learn to fix it. Mechanics laughed in my face. True story. I am much more shy around mechanics now. For some reason they are as intimidating as barbers and doctors for me (a lot).

Murderscoot Jr. continued to totally suck in new, ever-more impressive ways. I looked forward to learning some new horrible thing about it every time I got on... it was a major stressor in life for me, tbh.

The symptoms were clear: I had bought myself a lemon!

Drug Laws in Vietnam

Let's get high on information!

After I saw this painting in a Bui Vien bar (Cyclo?), I realized that this might be an area of interest for some people coming to Vietnam. After all, it's not like drugs don't exist here - just like gay people, Visa, and Coke-Cola, they're everywhere you want to be. Here's the information I've collected on this topic - I hope it's useful... or at least interesting!

I would guess that roughly half to two-thirds of the foreigners I know in Vietnam smoke marijuana at least occasionally, and a fair amount of younger Vietnamese as well. The truth is that drugs are easy to procure here in Saigon... but that doesn't mean they're legal. Far from it, in fact. They are super, duper illegal, and trafficking will net you the death penalty (so... please don't do that).

Current friends who smoke up tend to do so in their own homes and limit their purchases to marijuana. The people I knew that did harder things, like ecstasy or MDMA or cocaine or what-have-you, have all moved away back to their godless, liberal Western countries, so more power to them and I hope they're staying alive and healthy. I've never heard anything about an acquaintance getting caught for drugs, but maybe that was the point (mwahahaha). So, for the reason that I only have sources about marijuana, I'll focus exclusively on weed in HCMC.

Let me be clear:

If you're into heroin or opium, this is not the article or nation for you. You are playing a very dangerous game bringing an appetite for these drugs into the country, and ANYONE carrying even a small amount of heroin is given the death sentence. So, again, please reconsider your life choices if this is your intention, and seek help.

Also, I'm not advocating anyone smoke marijuana. Many people do recreationally, including in America (but who knows what will happen under Trump!). Be safe and discrete. Whatever you do, do NOT take your stash or anyone else's across borders! Do not be a stupid drug user, and you'll have many lovely years of getting high in low-risk, beautiful settings ahead of you.

Click through for rumor, vague laws, innuendo, hearsay, bribes, and the death penalty - everything I've been able to find about drugs in Vietnam!

Park Life: Công Viên 23 Tháng 9

The lily pond in Công Viên 23 Tháng 9, surrounded by an isolating and deeply relaxing grove of palm trees.

Today I want to take you on a tour of the park where I meet several of my clients, as well as my own personal Vietnamese tutor. On concrete benches beneath the shade of palm trees, in a section far away from the mosquitos that live in the pond, I learn and teach languages. Coupled with a ca phe da (iced coffee), banh mi, and folders full of language notes, my students and I learn languages together in the morning heat.

Leslie Knope would be proud! This repurposed park is today a thriving civic hub, one that I visit at least three times a week.

The Wedding: Choose Your Own After-party Adventure

New buildings and Old buildings in
downtown Ho Chi Minh City.

(Note: I've included some pictures from the 5th floor of the hotel - they didn't really fit anywhere else.)

Following the confusion regarding the state of the party (namely, was it still a party? Had it ever really been a party, or had it really been dinner all along?), my new friend Malte and I descended to the elevator, debating what to do next. The absurdity of the situation was such that we had a hard time believing that we were leaving a wedding before 2am!

On one hand, it was 9:30pm, we were dressed up, and we weren't far from the late-night bacchanalia parade that is known as Bui Vien. On the other hand… actually the only other question that came up turned out to be that age old quandary: walk it or taxi?