|I can't articulate WHY... but this speaks to me.|
For a while in 2016, it indeed looked like I'd come undone. A better metaphor is that it was like being unmoored and lost at sea.
Unmooring a vessel means to lift up the anchor and release ties to the dock, releasing it to the weather, the sea, and the skill of the crew. It's always the start of any journey, and no ship leaves dock without a destination. I unmoored myself from Chicago when I left to travel abroad. The thing about journeys is that, when you have a stated end goal, your journey will end in either success or failure.
In other words, becoming unmoored is the first step to achieving your dreams. However, being unmoored is also the first step in getting truly lost.
This year, I ran into some headwinds at sea.
I had a series of jobs that I didn't like. I felt like my real talents were going to waste, but wasn't always able to articulate those talents in a way that made sense, to myself or employers. I attempted to start a few businesses, and was marginally successful in one of them. I got a job I loved, and then got fired from when I demanded a contract (oof, disheartening - she operated in America, FYI). I followed a lot of irrational hope, in hindsight.
In the meantime, all my internal plans were in disarray.
|This was one of the good points.|
Most destructively, I was questioning the achievability of the plans I laid for myself 4 years ago. I began to doubt my ability to successfully operate at all.
It generally just sorta sucked. I did a lot of stress-eating, I'm disappointed to say, and not enough connecting with my friends and family.
|Ok, there were definitely a few good points.|
Looking back, I can't believe I didn't recognize them at the time - it felt like I was barely holding on to the ship's deck as the world raged around me, whipping my vessel this way and that. It's clear now that I didn't have a hand on the rudder. I was responding passively to all the happened around me - not taking any action myself.
|I LOVE this jacket. |
DO THE HUSTLE. SUPER GOOD.
In the end (which is not now, but for this post it will do nicely), I definitely didn't reach the destinations I was intending at the time I thought I would. But, that's also kinda ok. I always said I was flexible about my goal-making, and this year proves that my goals can bend and shape with new information I receive, and new actions I decide to take. I'm sure my new journey to my new goals will be just as filled with gems as my journey to the present.
|Me at Angkor Wat, again. Good.|
In a rapidly changing world, may we all discover our talents soon.
He says, enjoying one of the last rains of the rainy season! Take care, everyone...