- BRING WATER EVERYWHERE
- And maybe that map I bought
- Also, be more like Luke Skywalker in Episode IV
I live at the red flag. I wanted a bucket of water at the green marker. |
But I didn't anticipate how freakishly humid and hot it would get by the time I returned at about 11am. I mean, intellectually, of course I understood that it would get hot... I looked at the forecast and all, and timed it to avoid the rain (yep, it rains often this time of year), but I didn't have a good frame of reference for how disgusting and thirsty I could actually get in that short a period (hint: real, real gross and so. very. thirsty). Chicago's hot summers were as nothing compared to this. Unfortunately I'd left my wallet with VND in my other pants. Super helpful.
Water, water, everywhere... if only I was a plant. |
So, Lesson 1: Water. All the time, water.
Lesson 1.1: Don't leave your wallet in the shorts in your hotel room.
Number 2: That city map. Wait, I've actually got TWO maps. A big one, and then one that came in my Lonely Planet guide. Did I bring either of them? No. Of course not. Stop making sense.
I followed the canal and it led me... sort of close to home. |
*More on why I live in an alley in my next post!
Lesson 2, therefore: Just bring a map, Ben. You can look like a tourist if it means avoiding sunstroke.
Lesson 2.1: You made a great cheat sheet of phrases for yourself in Vietnamese, start using it!
No single shot of traffic I've taken so far has done it justice, but this is closer. |
This proved to be folly, if only for the reason that no one seemed to be expecting me to do that.
After several anxiety-producing street crossings, including several close calls (the motorbike drivers seemed GENUINELY CONFUSED as to why I was looking at them and hesitating), I recalled the scene in A New Hope where Luke has a blindfold on and is trying to play whack-a-mole with the floating laser sphere. This flash of pop insight, combined with the fact that for the last six years I've been playing in Chicago traffic like I own it, allowed me to try something new.
This is basically how it went down. |
In addition to the street crossings being dangerous, there's also the added insanity that basically every sidewalk is a combination outdoor market, scooter parking, scooter repair, pop-up tea shop, and social club. AND... every curb I saw today was angled at a 45 degree angle - bikes just bop on and off the sidewalk, willy nilly. At points the sidewalk is so full of people, street food, bikes, and stuff that the only recourse is to walk in the street alongside the 'walk. It's disorienting at first because you are IN TRAFFIC and it is RIGHT THERE, but it's all going right around you. Still, I kept to the 'walk as best I could. I am not a brave man. Or an insane man (well, maybe the latter).
Lesson 3: Go with the flow (literally) and don't think too much about it. These people have grown up in this environment, and they see you. Even the ones in the conical hats with the brims you SWEAR ARE COVERING THEIR EYES OH SWEET GOD HOW DO THEY SEE ANYTHING
Like in this documentary. |
IN SUMMARY: Good times had, good lessons learned. And more about why I live in an alley tomorrow - it's fascinating, I promise!
P.S. There's no excuse for the terrible pun in the title, so I won't bother to think of one.
I MUST see one of these conical hats with a brim. The image in my mind is essentially a few hundred vietnamese people in Shriner hats (slightly modified to get pointy at the top.) It's starting to look a lot like a parade.
ReplyDeleteThey're traditional, I'll post some pictures when I get them! Your vision is much, much funnier, though. ;)
DeleteSo so crazy!! If there is a way to post a video of the traffic..I would be interested in seeing that! But, you painted such a wonderful picture..I can see you being a ninja trying to get across the street.
ReplyDeleteWater!!! You may be receiving a package...once you get to a permanent place..that has a water bottle/fanny pack type contraption in it. You can have your water AND your wallet in the same place!
It looks crazy and beautiful over there!
Oohhhhhh yes, I am DEFINITELY going to try and get some video of traffic. It really has to be seen to be believed. And now I'm done talking about traffic for the time being (I feel a little like a broken record, haha).
DeleteIs that the water bottle thing you wanted to give me before I left? I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT!!
And yes, it IS crazy and beautiful. I can't wait until I'm settled in - I assume it'll take a couple months. Right now I'm half intoxicated with the city and half want to curl up into the fetal position in the air conditioning. ha ha
The thought of walking out into traffic, and trusting them to flow around you, is amazing. I can actually picture the social awkwardness of the unexpected eye contact- and it makes me giggle. Kudos on diving in, good sir. :)
ReplyDeleteha ha, I know, right?! "Wait, look at that white guy. I think he's trying to comunicate." "Why?" "I don't kno- OH GOD HE'S WALKING HE'S WALKING! SWERRRRRVE!!!!!!!!"
DeleteLiterally the only way to cross some of the busier streets is just to bop off the curb and start walking to your destination. It's actually kind of fun, by now! In two months I'm sure I'll be aching for 'normal' - but in the meantime... Oh and I got a picture of the Alley where I live. Stat tuned!