Traveling as an Introvert

Should the title of this blog
have been AnIntrovertAbroad?

Going away for the first time, I was pretty concerned about traveling as an introvert.

I recharge my batteries by being alone in a rich inner world. In an environment where I would have only new acquaintances, this was worrying to me. Would I have to explain? Would I be able to adapt? Would I be alone in a sea of extroverted youths? I secretly doubted my abilities... yet hoped that I would find reserves of "strength" I didn't know I possessed.

My nature is the big excuse I let stand between me and traveling abroad for so, so many years. I kept telling myself later, later, when the time is right. Later: you've got attachments, jobs, friends, and family. Later: you love Chicago. And could you really leave your cat?? How would you survive in a world dominated by short-term acquaintances? A place where you have to see and be seen in order to have any kind of social life? I both feared what I would find and was privately jealous of what I viewed as a "strength."

Well, here I am, almost one year into my first adventure. I stepped off the cliff of my comfort zone, landed in the deepest end of the forest, and found lions and tigers and bears... and beauty and wonders and friends. It seems like a good time for some introspection... although, when would I not say that?

I've developed many ways to maintain my mental balance. I try to spend enough time alone. I try to limit my exposure to too many new people at a time and always pay attention to my internal scale. Social spontaneity is not my strong suit - I need to prepare myself for people. After spending my day almost exclusively with hundreds of young children that all want a piece of me, and slightly older friends/co-workers whose English may or may not be super capable, it's truly difficult to get excited about interfacing with other people in my evenings. People that can do that are superhumans.

The weekends can be a different story. I try to make plans with people - one-on-one is the best - and, most importantly, to follow through. Just showing up for plans is half the battle... sometimes I still fail at that. Sometimes nothing helps and I'm a crotchety old man - Get off my lawn, you teenagers!! - and sometimes I can roll with it. It all depends on my day... some days deplete me, and some leave me energized. You never can tell what it'll be.

It was no spur-of-the-moment thing that took me abroad. For months before I left, I tried to mitigate the coming changes by focusing on the things I could control. Hilariously, and predictably, most of the 'preparations' mattered very little. There is no action that can truly prepare a person for culture shock ahead of time, or for the deluge of social requirements that moving to a new country necessitates. I suppose some must find it exhilarating. Personally, just typing that sentence makes me tired.

The smartest way I chose to gird myself against the shock was by landing in Ho Chi Minh City in the South (thanks for the tip, Aunt Chau!). Cities, to me, are all-important. They provide context and communities, but anonymity and individuality are always options. Living in a small community would be almost unbearably personal and restrictive - I enjoy the freedom and choice that cities provide, and the solitude available. I need both at different times. (Strangely, one thing that I do require is roommates - living alone is not mentally healthy for me.)

One thing that I've been surprised (and relieved) to discover is that I'm not alone: Introverts travel all the time, for their own interesting reasons. I've met several people I identify with on almost a molecular level - introversion is just part of our everyday lives. Many are at similar points in their journeys through life.

The bottom line is that, emotionally and intellectually, traveling has been the most educational experience of my life. I've stretched myself in ways I never knew I could. I've suffered major self-induced pitfalls. I achieved new personal heights and set lofty goals, some of which I'll inevitably, and healthily, fail at. I got sick an awful lot. I'm working toward a new and improved sense of self and a future that is more fully integrated with that self. Without traveling, I'd still be stuck in a rut, depression and routine trapping me in a mental hole of my own digging.

In the end, traveling as an introvert has been much less of a traumatic experience than I expected. (Yes, I was expecting trauma. That's seriously how apprehensive I was.) True, I often need to sit out events, simply because if I don't, I'll make myself sick - my body recognizes and looks out for my overly-optimistic brain, making SURE I have alone time if I'm neglecting myself.

At the same time, my ability to fake it - and enjoy it! - has significantly improved. I imagine the same goes for learning to read long-form fiction, or lead a team of 200, or for an extrovert to enjoy solitude. The time developing the weak and puny part of your personality is just like time you spend in the gym strengthening your arms, even though you know you'll probably never throw a football (and if you're lucky, no one will ask). It's all essential for a developed whole Self.

The takeaway here is that I've not only tempered my introverted nature with just enough social life, but that I'm quite happy - probably because of the obvious fact that, even on the other side of the world, there are introverts just like me! Who would have guessed? Not this guy... he could hardly even see past his own face!

Have you taken radical steps outside your comfort zone? What did you find there, among the lions and tigers and bears?