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Friday, August 23, 2013

The World's Best Men's Underpants

Ok, real talk.

After getting into my primary school classrooms and discovering that they were a) NOT air conditioned, as promised, and b) the teacher does not get a rotating fan pointed at them where they lecture (there are usually 5-7 fans along the tops of the walls pointed at the students, and one pointed at the teachers desk, but none at the blackboard area), I was compelled to write this post.

Let me tell you about how sweaty I get when I'm teaching. People, I sweat through my TIES. They are SODDEN, SOAKED MESSES when I get home. I can sometimes hardly pull them off. My shirt is even more of a mess - it looks like someone has picked me up and dunked the top half of me in water. I'm literally dripping sweat from my chin and nose all over English textbooks and little wooden desks for 4 hours a day, and it sucks. It's uncomfortable and the only thing saving it for me is that I'm going to drink four bottles of water in a row every hour.

But you know what's totally comfortable? My belly button to my ankles. I attribute it to two things: a) my slacks are way too baggy (almost shamefully '90's, I admit, and they need tailoring), and b) I made a stunningly intelligent decision on July 26th, 2012. That was the date I bought two new pairs of boxer briefs.

Comfortable, reliable undergarments are a thing of beauty. Let me share with you the world's most amazing men's underpants... an even more essential product now that I'm in the tropics. Stop reading now if that's not your bag.

You've been warned. Click the jump for comfort and, yes, seriously real (though not explicit) talk...

This is a sensitive subject for many, and could possible be weirdly offensive, I guess. But, seeing as how I'm not alone (I mean, you've GOT to check out the amazon reviews for these - it's remarkable how many people were compelled to write their first product review for UNDERPANTS), and that I've heard firsthand from several other guy friends who discovered them as well, each independently recommending them to me, I thought I'd shed some light on what, to me, are simply the only underpants any guy could ever want, for any activity, period.

Here's the product on Amazon. (And really, you must see these reviews. They're solemn/hilarious.)

They are the ExOfficio Men's Give-N-Go Boxer Brief. Yes, they range in price from mildly expensive to even more expensive, for underpants, but in the year I've had my two pairs, they show ZERO signs of wear. NONE. They were a fantastic investment. Yes, I repeat, an investment. Worth every penny.

And that, honestly, is fairly remarkable after what I've put these through. They've received many, many workouts, and continue to be just as great as the day I got them. If anything, they're getting abused even more here - simply walking to my tutoring lessons is sometimes an abject lesson in why you should keep yourself super-hydrated at all times, but in these? Piece of comfy-cake.

I originally bought these because I was riding 20+ miles/day on my bike in the Chicago summer. My cotton boxers were a sweaty, horrifying, uncomfortable mess by the time I got home, and the chaffing was fairly unbearable (yup, I'm a tad fat. They're even more remarkable when you consider that!). I also wanted something that would hold up well in camping and hiking situations where packing space was at a premium, that helped eliminate man-odor, and could easily be washed and dried quickly and rotated in and out, day after day. This is that product, folks. They are miracle undies.

I've biked, run, camped, hiked, done 12 hour days of heavy construction, and MOVED TO THE TROPICS in these boxer briefs, and they continue to surprise me. You shouldn't have to think about your underwear - they should just work for you, no matter what you're doing. Would I be writing this post if they didn't? I'm not much of a shill - I don't care if people go buy a pair, and I don't have an affiliate link that I'll make money off of. These have just been such a lifesaver and, dare I say it, essential tool for me that I'm compelled to tell you how great they are, even if it only really applies to (on average, I assume) about half of my audience.

And to the women out there: if you've got a man in your life that you can buy something like this for, you will not regret it. I'm that confident. They're ridiculous. It's absurd that I even felt compelled to write this post, but it occurred to me the other day just how much I've grown to depend on them - the days when they're fresh out of the laundry I'm totally Success Kid. In fact, they inspired me to make my very first meme. THAT good. ME. MAKING MEMES. SERIOUSLY. That good.

Consider this my extremely weird (and long, and detailed) PSA for comfort and utility. If you, like me, are a sweaty dude who is often/occasionally/never really active and likes support but not TOO much support... check 'em out. Put them on your Christmas list. Drop hints and links to your SO. You are wasting your time with anything else. THAT is how confident I am, how much these underpants have got going for them in my mind. You'll never stank again.

Personally, I'm looking forward to buying another couple pairs the next time I come back to the States.

Ok, real talk over. Back to your regularly scheduled Vietnam crazy....

NO A/C! In a room with 50-60 people!! AMIRITE?!

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Hah! I remember you telling me how awesome those were
    when we were hanging out, one day. Glad they're keeping
    you relatively comfy. :)

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    Replies
    1. THEY ARE THE BEST. I could write an entire essay (not that I haven't already) about how much I love them, but it would get into details that are not appropriate for my grandma. haha!

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  3. I clicked the jump for comfort while laughing my head off at "click the jump for comfort". I couldn't be happier that I did. Also my Dad would have loved hearing about you sweating through your ties. We Coyles are legendary sweaters.

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Hi! Thanks for speaking up! :) - Ben